Passing

The very nature of the bisexual is to be forever passing. When they are in a relationship of any kind with a person of the opposite sex, they are seen as heterosexual. When that relationship is with a person of the same sex, it is assumed they are homosexual. This binary system prevents bisexuals from expressing themselves fully. The whole concept of monogamy, emotionally and legally, puts bisexuals in this bind, being seen as straight or gay/lesbian without the possibility of expressing the duality of their attraction without being considered a liar and/or a cheat. Open relationships can be great for the bisexual person, leaving them open to live out their feelings for “both” sexes without fear of recrimination from their significant other, but due to human nature jealousy can occur, destroying the relationships.

Does my clothing, the way I dress identify me as bisexual or even queer? It shouldn’t. I dress in many ways. I tried the feminine once, it didn’t work for me. When I was much younger I tried masculine. The loose shirts, that hid my breasts when I hit puberty, the jeans and tennis shoes I wore every day, were a great indicator of how comfortable I was with myself. I’m older now and I realized, somewhere along that path of expression, that I liked my breasts, but I didn’t need to show them off in very low cut shirts like many of my classmates. Now I live in a happy medium, usually wearing the t-shirts and jeans that I am truly comfortable in, but some of the shirts are tight enough to draw attention to one of my favorite parts of my body (the other part is my eyes), but still high-cut enough that I am comfortable. I also live in drag on occasion. Drag is simply clothing that you do not usually wear or clothes that make you feel out of your warm and cozy comfort zone. It is one way I like to challenge the way people see me. Sometimes it is as simple as a pair of high heels or my favorite pair of lace-up boots with a pair of jeans; other times it can be the short plaid skirt for a Halloween costume (the drag artist’s time of year to shine) or the long hippie skirts I wear simply because that day I feel like the open freedom that kind of dressing gives me. Does the feminine part make me straight? Does my almost masculine everyday clothing make me a stereotypical butch lesbian? No; my clothing is who I am, fitting in between the stereotypes.

The fact that I pass upsets me and my sense of uniqueness.